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Happy New Years

I am sitting here writing this post as 2020 comes to a close. There is a sense of relief that it is over and there is a sense of unrest as we still do not know what the future holds. I know I hope that the next year brings an end to this pandemic and a return to whatever it is each one of us considers a normal life. I would even accept as close to normal as possible. I also hope it brings about equality, more acceptance and a fire to build a better future. A future we can be proud to leave to the next generations.

This year has lead to lots of people lives completely changing. No longer traveling for the safety of themselves, safety of loved ones and safety of other people in other parts of the country and world. Some of us lost jobs that provided us with good lives and a place to work that was loved. Some people lost businesses that they built with their sweat, blood, tears and all their love. Others have struggled with depression, lack of human contact, and anxiety. This only scratches the surface of the struggles experienced by people.

I would like to take a moment of recognition for the biggest loss, all the people who lost their lives due to Covid-19. This includes people who have taken their own lives and peoples lives who were taken by others. My heart goes out to all the families who lost their loved ones during this crazy time and to the ones who are still fighting.

I believe in balance though and so even though this has been an extremely hard year, there has also been beauty that has come out of this chaos. I have seen so much music and art come out of friends from all over the world. (I have soaked up as much as I could in support!) I have seen some friends and loved ones go back to school or start to pursue a passion that they didn't have time to pursue before we had all this free time. I have seen families grow closer because of all this time at home together. While other families I have seen simply just grow!! (Congrats to all who are carrying and expecting new life!!) I have seen feuds end because there is a deeper realization that tomorrow is not guaranteed, so they started appreciating and loving each other now. With each storm comes a rainbow, sometimes all we have to do is look.

For me this year brought.....a lot. I dealt with mild to extreme depression that made it hard to get out of bed some days. Then there were other days where I just didn't get out of bed. My entire life had been stopped, put on hold with no idea when the play button is going to be pushed. The event industry has been put on hold so there was little to no work doing what I love. I took a job/s that was just enough to make sure my bills were paid and I made it look like I was OK with it, so no one would ask questions or see how much I was struggling in general. .

The biggest hurtle was also the biggest gift. For the first time in almost three years I couldn't travel. Maybe even just chose not to out of respect for peoples lives. Either way I was still, I was being forced to deal with myself, both my light side and my shadow self in a way I hadn't in a long time. This year has brought me face to face with many demons and it was hard to sit with them, it hurt to sit with them, it was scary to sit with them. I sat non the less. At first because I had no choice but too, then because I saw that these parts of me needed to be healed. A child that needed to be held. This was the gift. I had made the space to start healing some deep wounds that I would have kept running from had I not been forced to stop.

Healing was the greatest gift I received this year. It wasn't the only positive event this year. I completed my first BA in Communications!!!! Yes, I am still a terrible speller!!! I am almost done with my second BA.I enrolled in an herbal-ism certification program, this type of healing is a huge passion of mine. I fell in love with hiking and the mountains again, I had time with family even though sometimes we wanted to kill each other! I quit smoking, and I started this, my blog and online store which again was another dream of mine.

This year was not the type of year any one of us had in mind while celebrating new years last year. Next year probably might not be either. So as we move forward on our journeys this is what I wish for you, me and the world. May we move forward together in harmony and in love. May we be compassionate to ourselves and to others. May we continue to grow and shed what no longer serves us. May we stay humble yet swim in knowledge. May we find peace and appreciate the beauty that is surrounding in us in all its forms. Happy New Years and I hope to see you all soon!!!

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